January blues

Bruce died on January 6, 2014.  I miss him, even though I have been without him for 34 years.  We'd be out of touch for years although I saw him twice in 2013, once at Joel's service, and again for coffee in September.   I heard from him the night before he died - about the the Packers losing, for goodness sakes!  How can life end so suddenly?

I am grieving for a life lost.  

Choices made.

Life goes on.

2013

Oh my goodness, NO posts is 2013.   I will move forward; yet at the same time I am listening to the Moody Blue's 1972 Seventh Sojourn on Youtube.   Life is a continuum, I'm never sure which year I am living in.  Memories take me back, dreams take me forward.

A lovely Mahowald family tradition continues.  Yesterday, four generations, 40+ people gathered at Daniel and warren's for our 32nd Cookie Bake.   I love how bake has become a noun in our family!   I love, love, love the hubbub of this gathering.   Flour flying, cookie sheets dashing between loved ones.   Little ones running in circles.    It isn't the treats we bring home from this event, it is the joy we share in being together.  

My wish for my children is for them to continue whatever gathering keeps them close.  Every day is precious.  

Meanwhile, I'm going back to 1972………..

.....and what happened to summer?

Okay, I have been ignoring this for most of the year!  Ironic after one of our driest summers ever, it is pouring rain, lightening and thundering right now.  Is it my fault we didn't get rain?   Moose is resting his chin on my left hand and wondering why we aren't out walking.

Summer was spent working and trying to capture little weekend trips.  We managed one camping trip to Wissota State Park east of Chippewa Falls - lovely, lovely.   Bought a new tent for the occasion that worked out great, and now it is stored for the season.   Still need to get an air bed before I sleep on the hard ground again (haven't I been saying that for several years now?).

We are a friendship family to a young woman from Myanmar.  The Saint arrived in August and we helped her get moved in to St. Kate's.  She will spend one year through  a State Department program and is experiencing all of American life and finds much of it perplexing.  Her country is tropical, typical temperature range from 75 to 105 degrees F.  Minnesota is quite the contrast.   They have only had a democratic government for a few years so she is not used to personal freedom and the ability to travel.  She has gotten us to St. Catherine University for several O'Shaugnessy events that have been fun and we'll see her Saturday to carve pumpkins.

Steven moved to his own apartment in River Falls and is enjoying his freedom and his job at the River Falls Country Inn.   He started part time and now has five days a week from 11:00 p.m. to 7:00 a.m. shift.   Seems to  be working for him.  Brian moved from his River Falls apartment to Eau Claire in August.   He is studying at CVTC and taking seven classes.  We picked him up when we visited Tenba Ridge Winery in Blair WI and enjoyed wine tasting and dinner at Northwoods Brew Pub in Eau Claire.  He doesn't call, hope all is going well with his school.

We have been saving our vacation for a BIG adventure.  We leave for New Zealand in 16 days.  We fly to Los Angeles on November 10 and then a 13 hour flight to Auckland New Zealand.    We will have a rental card and first stop will be in Matamata where we will see The Shire from Lords of the Rings.  We spend a day in Roturua by the lake before traveling to Wellington.  The ferry will cross between the north and south islands.  We will whale watch by Kaikoura, see the western coast by Punakaiki, walk on glaciers on Fox Glacier, see glow worm in caves by Te Anau, take a boat tour on Milford Sound, visit vineyards at Wanaka.  Bill with fish a full day while in Wanaka.  We then will travel to Invercargill, the southern most tip of the country, explore the coast to see penguins, seals, sea birds by the Caitlins and end our trip in Dunedin where we spend three days, take a wildlife tour to see more penguins.   Can you tell - I am really, really, really excited.  This trip has been on our wish list for 31 years, and a year and half in planning.   We'll see how I do being away from home for three weeks.  I will miss my walks with Moose and early morning access to my coffee pot!  

Speaking of coffee, time to refill my mug.......

Rain, rain, lovely rain

There have been very few mornings with rain hitting my head as I walk Moose.  Today is one of the rainy ones!   We have been so very, very dry, it is welcome.   Temps had dipped below freezing the past few nights, however this morning we are in the 50's - hurray for warmth.  

The birds are happily singing,  I can hear a cardinal calling from the birch tree.  I still haven't identified the repetitive 'oo, oo, oo, oo..." sounding bird down by the marsh.   It is there every morning between 5:00 and 6:00 and appears to be flying as I hear the sound from various spots in the western edge of the marsh.   Would love to be able to see it.  

Have to get ready for work - a lovely day ahead.

March 16, 2012

A significant day in Mahowald history - Casey Rainier Milesko will marry Kimberly Alice Yeske at 5:00 p.m. today in Duluth, Minnesota.   Liz and Joe are so proud, and happy for them.   Young love, eternal promises.  I wish the best to them.

I packed for the trip last night.  My first instinct was to grab a back pack - it is only ONE day.   After laying things on the bed (and deciding between three dresses), I grabbed a larger bag.   When I finished, I realized there are FOUR pairs of shoes in my packing plans.   How is that possible??   One pair of brown flats to wear with blue jeans in the car, one pair of black heels to wear to the wedding, one pair of "backup" flat sensible shoes to wear if my feet are hurting at the wedding, and one pair of tennis shoes for working out at the hotel.   Now does that make sense?!!    I have taken the heels out, and will go with the sensible shoes for the wedding.   I am contemplating wearing tennis shoes in the car for today and tomorrow non-wedding events.   Tennis shoes, ugh.    Sensible shoes for a wedding?    I may go back to the idea of four pairs!

Elaine is in town for the wedding!   She had an audit in Kansas that ended yesterday so she diverted her flight to MSP and will stay through Sunday.  It's really unfortunate that her entire family can't attend but not realistic.   Family members are staying at different Duluth/Superior hotels.  Most of us will be at the Sheraton as it is right next to they Greysalon Plaza where the reception will be held.   Ann, Warren, Paul and Shane will stay at the Voyageur Lakewalk Inn right down the street.  Pat, Jean and Laura will be at the Superior Inn, and Daniel and warren will go back to their cabin.   So excited to see everyone.

Moose will spend the night at Hilltop Kennel.  I'll drop him off at 9:00 a.m., and we'll head out after 10:00.   All of my family (less Brian) will be there.   We plan to take our time driving, stop for lunch in Hinkley and see Lake  Superior before checking in to the hotel.  Steven and David will have their own room so they can be independent of my early to bed, early to rise schedule.  I plan to dance at the wedding, so perhaps it won't be quite so early to bed tonight!

My favorite day of the week

The best quote I've heard in the past few weeks was from Liz, "every day is significant".  Based on that it is safe to say, today is my favorite day of the week.   Enjoying coffee, browsing on the computer, watching lovely flakes of snow drifting softly just outside my windows.  A squirrel is eating sunflower seeds from below the feeder.  Need to get that filled so the birds can enjoy their breakfast.

Participated in the Great Backyard Bird Count sponsored by Audubon and Cornell Labs.  I enjoy our feathered friends, the day I counted saw the normal backyard visitors - chickadees, blue jays, house sparrows, redpoll, cardinals,  Within the next few days after the count also heard a barred owl, saw an eagle, red tailed hawk, juncos, gold finches (or are they pine siskins?!).   Wonder if I could make a living watching birds?

The birding job would need to pay well as this has been an expensive week - water quit working on Thursday morning.  Called Aune Well Company and he came within the hour.  By the time he left we had a new submersible pump, control cable, pressure switch and my bank account was lightened by $1200.   The same day Bill stopped at P.M. Bedroom Gallery and ordered a Cooper Sleigh headboard with a foundation drawer unit, and a new queen sized Sebastian mattress.  It will take five weeks to be made at a spot just south of Eau Claire.  After 31 years of just a mattress and box spring on a metal frame, this will be a delight.   Warranty - 267 years!    Who will get that when I'm ready to downsize?

Megan is home.  David picked her up after work yesterday and I'll take her back tomorrow for her to be at work at 8:00 a.m.   We'll grocery shop this morning, and want to check if Treasures from the Heart has any coats, stop at Karma Gifts.   She wants to bake and take treats back to her roommates.  We have tickets to see the play, Almost Maine at UWRF this evening so called the box office and had them set aside an extra ticket for Megan.  Gene and Susan Frederickson will meet us at Mariachi Loco at 5:30.  It will be good for Megan to meet Susan as she is an occupational therapist.

David should be getting up soon for work, will make an omelet and pack him a lunch.   Moose wants another walk.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Lovely, lovely morning with a sky full of starts.  While walking Moose at 5:30 I kept my eyes to the sky enjoying the celestial show.   Saturn and Jupiter both visible in the night sky, big dipper high in the north, the three sisters protecting the south.  

Bill helped make pumpkin and pecan pies last night, they are "hiding" in the downstairs frig.  We went to the Whole Earth wine tasting and Bill selected a rose wine, I also want to serve the Cannon Falls St. Croix to remember Kevin.  Megan made her bread crumbs for the shiitake walnut dressing last night filling the house with aroma of garlic and olive oil toasting.....  The turkey will go in the oven by 7:00 and then will make bread to form in to rolls later this morning.   My most favorite meal of the year!  

Off to Skype with Liz and then to get the turkey in the oven.

Saturday

Day one of Wisconsin's gun deer season.   Bill went in to the woods about 9:15, not certain how much success he will have.  I reminded him to shoot away from the house.  I saw three deer before 7:00 a.m., I invited them to stay in our yard - after cautioning them to stay OUT of the water garden (and to hide when they see Bill).   Sadly, a deer already broke through the ice in our water garden earlier this week.   It has refrozen and I could see upended plant containers.  The hoof must have ripped the lining because the water level is down six or more inches.   Alas, the dilemmas wildlife trying to find water in the cold weather.   A chickadee was sitting in the Tina crab tree, and another in the tree right by the water garden.   Both were singing.  Quite certain they were asking how they are supposed to get a drink.  I may invest in a heated bird bath for my birds.   

Grocery shopping for Thanksgiving is done.   I had talked to Whole Earth Grocery about buying a natural turkey, however their largest bird is less than 16 pounds.  We expect 23 guests, so I purchased a 20 lb. turkey at Dick's Fresh Market.    Bought a spiral cut ham also, and all the other items needed for Thursday's dinner, so there should be plenty of food.   Butterball.com has a hilarious list of things to do in the week preceding Thanksgiving.   The frozen turkey should be thawing in the frig already (oops!), and all the holiday dishes, flatware should be washed and linens ironed.   Tuesday's tasks includes selecting what to wear, and ironing the outfit.   Good grief!   When does a woman have time to work with lists like that!   On the plus side, I have counted chairs, made place cards and decorated the house already.  That is Monday's task.  :-) I do plan to bake bread and pies on Wednesday night so that will be out of the way.   I'm so grateful to have two refrigerators, and two ovens.  

It's so overcast outside, today would be a good baking day!   Temp below freezing, and we are expecting snow a bit later in the day.  We have had a few flakes already.  I'm not ready to have snow on the ground yet.  Hope it holds off until December.

Brisk fall morning

Out early this morning with Moose.  The half light of the hunter's moon lit our walk down Liberty Road.  Spent yesterday morning digging roots of buckthorn from our woods.  Who knew that those roots were so obnoxiously deep and intertwined!   Need to continue the process this morning - after more caffeine!

Sounds of shot guns in the distance, bird hunting has begun.  I'm happy our property is a no hunting zone, yet the sounds are a bit unnerving as I ponder heading in to the woods.

The process of getting ready for cold weather continues.  Outside potted plants will move to the breezeway today.  Dahlia bulbs need to be dug.  Debating about how long to leave carrots underground, may leave them another week - amazingly, the moles haven't found them.

Bill is in process of putting in a larger window in our downstairs bedroom, the transom glass to fill in the window space is ordered.   Need it to arrive before it gets much colder - plastic in our bedroom window does not make me happy.  Although it gives a sense of camping and we never did get out camping this season.   Didn't go canoeing either, what is wrong with us?  Perhaps not too late for a canoe outing?

Dinner at Good Earth Restaurant last night with Bill, Amy and Megan.  A lovely evening.  Didn't bring home any of their bread, so will bake some of my own this morning.  

Getting the look I like

"That looks horrible", I cried to my hair stylist as she completed adding "stuff" and blow-dried my hair into a pouffy style.  This is the same woman that has cut my hair for fifteen years and has been through long styles, short styles, curly styles and knows the only time a blow dryer or curling iron gets used on my hair is in her chair.  As I pushed the hair behind my ears, she laughed, and sprayed on some water to flatten it out.

I have a perception of how my hair should look - can't go for the polished "set".   Growing up in the 70's with straight, long hair influenced my feelings on hair styles.

Too blunt with service professionals?  Perhaps.  Can she read my mind?  Better to vocalize my thoughts than to walk out with a look I can't stand.   I gave her a generous tip.   Someone help me think of a word easier on the feelings of my stylist!

Lilacs, lilacs, lilacs

Lilacs are in FULL bloom!  The yard smells like paradise.   The air is filled with the smell of blossoms.  The crab apple trees are at the end of their bloom, except for the Tina that is white with color.   The high bush cranberry, plum, cherry and apple trees are done blossoming and their petals blanket the grass.  The creeping phlox bleeding heart, prairie smoke, the canada violets and forget me nots in the shallow end of the water garden are in bloom,

Cardinals, baltimore orioles, eastern phoebes, robins flit around the yard.  Full time job keeping the jelly plate and hummingbird feeders filled -   the funniest sight, a woodpecker at the oriole feeder!  The orioles vivid orange and black feathers stand out in the maples.  How is that adapting to their surroundings?!   Oh, I know, they are trying to match the orange of our Northern Light azaleas that have also begun to bloom.    A pair of brown thrashers have been in the yard for the past week.  They eat bugs from the ground with their long beaks, this is only the second years I have noticed them.  We had a lone sand hill crane fly over yesterday,  heard it coming a mile away by its distinctive call.   A blue heron just flew over - they are lovely, and I love seeing them along the Kinnickinnic River, yet when flying above our yard, I want them to keep going and stay away from our water garden.  

Bill planted two additions to the landscape yesterday that he bought to celebrate our 30th anniversary.  A red twigged dogwood, and a Japanese maple both are in the water garden area.  We've admired the Japanese maple at Earthworks for many years but hesitated because they are zone 6 and higher.  This variety will supposedly survive in our zone 4.   We are going to need to mulch, mulch, mulch to protect its roots!  It has lovely seven pointed leaves and seems happy in our yard.   It is in the area of the Royal Red maple we planted last  year, but is decidedly different.   The Japanese maple leaves are green now, and will change with the seasons.    

After attending a graduation party and suffering through another bout of rain, we tackled the grass under the crimson maple by the front door. Bill has longed to be rid of all the grass so we started by the light post and cleared out grass around the tree.  It now has hostas, bearded iris and we planted flower seeds.  Getting rid of all of our grass seems unlikely, but we are making strides.  

The house is deliciously quiet right now, Moose and I walked at 6:00 a.m., and he's resting on the rug next to me.  Megan has successfully completed her freshman year at St. Kate's and is home for the summer.  Completely unrelated to the lilacs blooming, Megan painted her room purple this week!  It looks amazing.    David drove back from Phoenix and arrived home on May 25, he will conduct his job search from here.   He is delighted to be back in the land of seasons and is enjoying the green.   Brian has been coming over several times a week and cutting buck thorn from our woods - a massive, necessary task.  Steven is taking summer classes at UWRF and dedicating a lot of time to homework (and world of warcraft).  Between constant rain, and his studies, he has only mowed lawn once this year.   Guess we will have to remove all the lawn!

Grateful to have a long weekend to celebrate Memorial day.  Had a wonderful evening at Antler's Park in Lakeville  on Friday with family to celebrate Sister Karen Mahowald's visit home.  The rest of this weekend is just a joy to be home.   Really want the rain to end though so I can get in my vegetable garden, it has been too wet to work.  Have snap peas and lima beans planted, and need to get more things in.  Our tomato plants are ready to plant but will be in a new garden by the south side of the house.   

Garden conversation

Every spring I have a (mostly) silent conversation with my flower beds by the house.  They lie near large red oak trees and in autumn the leaves gently fall and cover the beds.;  keeping the plants and bulbs warm under the winter snow and ice.  Decomposing leaves are good for the soil as they keep the moisture in the soil, and the weeds at bay, so I keep some of the leaves in the beds.  The daffodils, however, have other ideas, they want to be free of the leaf cover.  As they poke several inches above the leaves, this morning they called me out to uncover them.  There is still a bit of snow in front of the garden shed but I pulled out a rake, and the wheelbarrow and gently uncovered the beds.

Iris sprigs are only an inch above the ground, tulips are peeking out, fragile blue scilla, hollyhock leaves at the very edge.   No sign of the hostas, they are waiting for warmer soil and spring rains.  The daffodils will bloom by Steven's birthday, some of them perhaps earlier.  The soil is cold, it isn't time to begin planting....although I have located by gladiola bulbs and have garden seeds and can't wait to begin digging in the dirt!

Snowshoeing

Silence as I snowshoe in the woods this morning.  The snow is deep, yet my snowshoes let me glide along the top of the drifts.  Snow is gently falling from branches overhead with a puff of wind.  Ah, but there are sounds; a distant caw of a crow, the snort of an unseen buck warning other deer of my presence, screech of a blue jay, a gliding red tailed hawk soaring from a tall pine tree.

I blazed a new trail along the southern edge of our woods, no houses in sight, or sound of humanity.  The wandering takes me through a young grove of aspen with tracks of deer that have eaten any new buds.   I come across a deer "highway" with evidence of spots where they have bedded down for the night.  Their trails are easier to follow, missing the dense bushes, and buckthorn.  Far in the distance, I hear the hum of a snowmobile, others finding joy in the outdoors, yet missing the solitude of the woods.   Suddenly above me, the flutter of a wild turkey taking off from its perch on a tall tree branch.  

Back on the trail, the sight of our log home ahead.

Visions of Self

I spent time browsing for clothes online, only to decide there really isn't anything I want to buy.  My closet is full, my needs are met.   


Yet......in my mind, I wear flowing skirts of bold design, topped by a whispery peasant blouse in muted earth tones, and sandals on my feet.  I wear blue jeans, with funky boots, jackets in primary colors.  


Alas, the clothes in my closet, incorporate the practical needs of a business office, flat shoes for traveling the manufacturing floor, too much black.   Perhaps it is time to clean out the closet and get back to the vision of myself.  Not today, instead I will choose a skirt and a top to reflect the rose colors of the rising sun.

Wolf Moon

The full moon is in the western sky, watching over us.  A cold, winter night with the moon glinting on the crystalline snow.  In my perfect world, I would stay here and hike through the woods on my snowshoes in the moonlight.  Made a pot of coffee and turned on the computer instead.  Skype with Liz, and thoughts of getting ready for the work day.

An exciting work day ahead, completing negotiations on a metal contract.  New tooling orders to order material, a challenging transportation dilemma and time to get to it!

Last day of 2010

2010 began with a phone call.  My sister-in-law, Tanya McBride, died from cancer in the early hours of January 1, 2010.  From that beginning, it caused me to realize there is no time to delay.  Every day must be lived to the fullest.    For me, that doesn't mean jumping out of an airplane, or taking a trip around the world.  It is being aware of the moments and beauty of each and every day, and learning to be content with my surroundings.

As others reminisce about what they accomplished in 2010,  I want to think of the blessings I have today.  My husband, children, family members are near and dear to me.  I have a warm house, a job that pays the bills and some money in the bank.  That is enough for the moment.    Is the perfect life?  No.  It is the life I have chosen, deliberately.   Should I coast, and not make changes that are needed?  No.  There are things to be improved.  

The people I love need to know they are loved.  That is all that really matters.

Today is the day

Liz sent me a message taken from Fearless Living, it was a long post with many adages of how to fully live.  All things that I know and sometimes forget.   The lasting message from the post is "Today is the day".   The author meant the day to take action, I take it as living in the present moment.  I will do what is needed for the moment - not dwell on worries of tomorrow.

Tomorrow may not come.

Today is the day.

Birthday, 2010

Today I turn 55 years old.  I have never felt middle aged, however, at 55 what else can one call it?  I tell people I am going to live until I am 104, so perhaps now I have reached the middle of my life.   What have I been doing until now:  spent an amazing childhood on a farm with TEN brothers and sisters, college, marriage, college, work, marriage, four amazing, wonderful children.  

The next 50 years - what will they bring?  Serenity, contentment, inner peace,   I am going to annoy crabby people and reverse their negative energy with my optimism.   I'm going to smile more, and worry less.

My first action will be to go back to bed and get the Elton John "It's 4:00 in the morning........." phrase out of my head.

Generations

This morning, as I grabbed my first cup of coffee, I paused and looked a the wedding photo of Mom and Dad taken in the Como Park Conservatory in St. Paul, Minnesota on August 16, 1952.   I smiled at my lovely mother, she smiled back at me.   The joy filled faces of my mom and dad, Arlene Anklan, Aunt Genevieve Deutsch, Kathleen Fogarty, Uncle Edward Mahowald, Uncle Bud Sullivan and Ben Zweber fill my heart with love and remind me how important our links are to previous generations.

I attended the wake of Edward Anton Mahowald, my Dad's older brother, last night in Farmington.  Edward died Sunday, Dec, 5, 2010 at 5:34 in the morning.  My cousin, Mary Theresa Mattison, from CA was with him.  Mary Theresa brought Uncle Ed's photo to the wake to give back to the Mahowald family.  I enjoyed seeing my cousins: Mary, Tom, Mike, Cathy and Mary Frances and their children last night.   My Dad was there, as was Uncle Buddy, Aunt Genevieve, and of course Uncle Ed was there in spirit.  Three of the people in that photo, including my precious mother, are now deceased.

 It brings a smile to my face, and tears to my eyes to have this permanent record of such a happy day in each of their lives.   Edward was 27 in 1952, already married to Thelma, with three children and working in the creamery in Farmington.  Genevieve was married to Clarence and had Charles, Pauline (she was the flower girl), Helen (she wore the flower girl dress for her first communion) and was pregnant with John.  Buddy was 22 years old (Steven's age) and a carefree playboy, sad to have his favorite sister moving to the country.  

I want my children to enjoy and remember my parents, and know that they were married in St. Columba Catholic Church on Lafond Avenue in St. Paul, Minnesota.  Their wedding photos were taken at the Como Park Conservatory in St. Paul.  It is one of my favorite spots in St. Paul, and I can feel the spirit of those before me that have enjoyed the beautiful, tropical setting.  

Snowy Sunday

Snow softly falling.  Megan at my elbow.  Lemon heart cookies cooling on the counter upstairs.

Cardinals, blue jays, juncos, woodpeckers, nuthatches, chickadees at the feeder.

Darn, it is cold outside!